


Would it matter

by WolfKomoki



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Episode: s03e15 The Wrath of Savitar, Gen, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 01:38:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14009367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfKomoki/pseuds/WolfKomoki
Summary: Barry was currently lying alone in the med bay, staring at the syringes on the table next to him.Barry realizes something, if he sliced his radial artery, then he could put an end to all this. Maybe if he was dead, they would care then.





	Would it matter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kr1411](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kr1411/gifts).



> The Flash is owned by The CW.  
> Warning! This fic contains some particularly triggering content! If you have any triggers, read at your own risk.

         Barry was currently lying alone in the med bay, staring at the syringes on the table next to him. Wally was still stuck in the speed force, and Barry hadn’t gotten him out yet. Joe had asked if Wally was in pain, not even caring that Barry was in pain. Did they not remember that he was stabbed? Caitlin had asked if he was in pain, but that was it. Iris had taken her ring off of her finger, which means that she had ended things. She didn’t even say anything as she showed off her hand, slowly walking away from Barry.

         Joe talked about how he couldn’t lose Wally. Did it not occur to him that he could have lost Barry too? They couldn’t even stand to stay in the same room as him when he was hurt. Barry grabs one of the syringes from the table, and stares at his wrist. Silent tears poured from his eyes. He wouldn’t dare make noise when he cried, he didn’t deserve to. He’d created Flashpoint, he’d created Savitar, he’d gotten Wally trapped. He presses the tip of the syringe to his wrist, just resting it there.

         Barry realizes something, if he sliced his radial artery, then he could put an end to all this. Maybe if he was dead, they would care then. He sighs. How did it come to this? When did they stop caring? He sobs. _Do it._ He scolds himself. _Do it before you chicken out._

         Barry presses the syringe to his wrist, cutting the right spot as he watches the blood pour out. Soon enough Barry’s vision starts swimming, and he passes out. Barry feels peaceful. He’s tired. He’s tired of people not caring about him. He’s tired of people not putting him first.

         Five minutes pass since then. Cisco walked into Star Labs, going to check on Barry. Eventually he walks into the med bay, and that’s when his heart almost stopped. The cot that Barry was laying in was covered in blood. A syringe covered in blood was on the floor. Cisco’s face pales when he sees the cut on Barry’s wrist.

         “Oh my _God_! Barry!” He gasps. He runs over to the medical supplies, grabbing a rag, some soap, some bandages, and some stuff for stitches. Cisco presses the rag to Barry’s wrist, applying pressure to the wound. God, he can’t lose Barry, not now. They’d talked him out of sacrificing himself to the Dominators, and now he might die like this?

         “Stay with me buddy, okay? _Stay with me_.” Cisco pleads. Tears pour from his eyes. Barry can’t die, he can’t. Not after all this. Not after they’d finally made up. Cisco ends up going through three rags before the bleeding finally stops. Barry is vaguely aware of a voice in the room. _No, no, someone must have found him. No!_

         “Barry buddy? I gotta put you on a gurney, okay? Hang in there.” Cisco says as he walks over to the gurney. After pulling it to Barry’s bedside, he slowly drapes him over his shoulders, groaning as he puts him on the gurney. He sighs. _Why did you do this to yourself man?_

He grips the side of the gurney, pulling Barry over towards the sink. He plugs the sink, and turns on the warm water, waiting for it to fill the sink. The water ends up filling it a minute later, and that’s when he turns off the faucet.

         Barry passes out again, too exhausted to try to stay awake. Cisco sighs and grabs the soap, placing the rag in the water as it warms up. Once the rag was warm enough, he takes it out, and pours the soap on it. Once the rag was covered, he starts cleaning the wound. When the soap touched Barry’s wound, he cries out in pain.

         “Sorry I should’ve warned you. _Hang in there_ , okay?” Cisco apologizes. When the wound was finally clean, Cisco goes to find some antibiotic ointment. Once he finds it, he returns to Barry’s side, and puts the cream on the wound. Once he puts the cream on the wound, he wraps Barry’s wrist with bandages. Cisco goes to grab the power dampening cuffs from the pipeline. He really hated to do this, but he was afraid that Barry would try to hurt himself again. Cisco ends up returning to the room ten minutes later, sighing as he puts the cuffs on Barry.

         “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I’ve been so terrible to you. I’m sorry that I made you hurt this much.” He says, tears pouring down his face. God, how shitty of a person was he, that his actions had driven Barry to _this_? He sighs. He really wished that Barry would wake up soon. He sighs and starts shaking him.

         “Barry, Barry. Wake up, come on.” He pleads. When Barry finally wakes up, he stares at Cisco in anger.

         “ _Why_ did you _save me_?” He asks, tears pouring from his eyes. Cisco’s heart breaks at his words, and that’s when he holds Barry close. Cisco continues to hold Barry, listening to him sob. He frowns. _This is your fault, you realize, that right? He could have died because of you._

         “Please don’t ever do that again. If you feel the urge, please call me, okay?” Cisco pleads. Barry doesn’t say anything, he just nods.

         “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I’ve been so terrible to you. I’m sorry that I made you hurt this much.” He repeats. Barry sighs. Why couldn’t Cisco have let him die? Barry tries to move his wrist and that’s when he sees the cuffs around his wrist.

         “You _restrained me_? What the _hell_ Cisco!” He shouts.

         “I’m sorry, but for now I have to do this. I’m afraid you might hurt yourself again.” Cisco apologizes. Barry’s blood boils at that statement.

         “Why did you save me? Why couldn’t you let me die? You’re _selfish_ Cisco!” He shouts. Cisco sighs. Why did he have to be such an ass back then?

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Realistically Barry would have died in seconds if it wasn't for his speed healing.  
> I promise you, help is out there. Please, talk to someone.
> 
>  
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